Hey kids, it’s Jeremy and today I’m going to tell you a story; a long story that I intended to drag on and on like the end of “Return of the King” but recent revelations have skewed the timeline in the favor of not only me but you Dear Reader as well. So gather round, grab the popcorn, Hell, grab a beer for all I care because Uncle Slayer’s about to spin you the yarn of a boy and girl, and how that boy has been an absolute moron for the last four months of his life.
This blog series, which let’s be honest has a bitchin title, I pitched to myself as a way of cleansing my palate from my relationship woes; woes that have been haunting me since late July and had manifested themselves in every way, shape, and form you can imagine. I’ve cursed, cried, laughed, screamed, been sad, nostalgic, and pissed; all in the hopes that I would eventually climb off this emotional roller coaster of post-breakup trauma and move the fuck on with my life. Well, for a few reasons, that didn’t happen and I spiraled even lower. One night a few weeks back, when I was particularly down in the dumps, I decided to try and vent my feelings on the Internet in a no holds barred expose highlighting the best and worst parts of my torrid love affiar. At least that’s what I told myself. Sounded like a good idea at the time.
To save everyone a lot of aggravation here’s the long and short of it. I met a girl, we became friends, we began to hang out on the reg, we became even better friends, I plotted to steal her from her boyfriend who I severely disliked at the time, I ultimately did, (yay me), we “dated” for five months, I fell in love, we broke up.
There you go kids, that’s the long and short of it. Nothing really special, everyone has that exact same story. So I lost someone I loved, join the club right? But I couldn’t let it go. Even after we called things off I was hell bent on winning her back. So I hung around, I told her I loved her every single day, I wrote her love letters and poems , I brought her bouquets of roses, all the while knowing that she was seeing her Ex-Boyfriend. Knowing but not realizing she had chosen someone else, knowing but ignoring because I enjoyed the little fairy tale construct in my head. I enjoyed going home and envisioning that deep down she really wanted to be with me. It made me feel desired, it made me feel special.
So that’s what this series of blog’s really was, an attempt to woo her back into my arms through a poetic retelling of our relationship. It was a Emo fueled ballad of the repressed and I poured my heart into the story that had been replaying in my head for months, all my love and loss and anger. Trust me, the finished product would have been a sight for the ages. Oh and I was gonna go deep, by the end I’m pretty sure I hoped to either have the entire world thinking I was the greatest guy this side of Jesus or she would instantly swoon into my arms once again. Or both; both would have been nice too.
But then reality paid a visit and gave me a swift kick in the balls, and suddenly I saw the world for what it was; like Neo finally getting his ass out’ve the Matrix. For the last four months, the only thing I have been writing or caring about have been events that took place almost a year ago. I was pining for the past when the future was dancing in front of me like those idiots spinning signs at Little Caesars. It was screaming, “Hey moron! She doesn’t love you! But it’s cool, there’s a lot of cool shit this way, so stop walking backwards!” That’s what I was doing, scared to walk forwards for fear of losing sight of what was long gone behind me. And because of that I’ve missed out on a lot of opportunities that have been afforded to me. I jacked around with my school because I was depressed and now I’m paying the price wasting away in the library studying my ass off to hopefully pass my classes I should be aceing. I neglected my family. My father and I had the worst fight we’ve ever had over this girl. The only thing stopping us from punching it out was my mother between us. But my father was right. He saw what this girl was doing to me. He saw me not smile for weeks and he was terrified that I would do something to hurt myself. He was right. And I’m so sorry. Because that night I was willing to walk out on my family because of this silly crush I had. Like I’ve said, and I’ll say it to the end of time, I’m an idiot.
So this dear friends will be the last edition of “Happily Ever Aftermath”. I know James enjoyed reading them immensely, but I plan on filling in the blank aspects of the story on a future episode of the podcast. I appreciated his support throughout all of this, Ricky’s too. My boys have had my back since day one and I wish I could express how profoundly good it feels to have friends that stick with you through the bull shit.
I’m going to write on the blog, don’t get me wrong. I’ll write about what’s happening with me now, what’s on my mind, what I think. I’ll write about the future and try to build instead of admire the ruins of what’s been left behind. Because I’m done writing about all that garbage. It was a fun ass ride but the story’s over. I’m closing the book.
The End.
Thanks for reading. I’ll see you in the future.
Jeremy
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